For many people, the winter solstice marks the shortest day of the year. As Canadians, we hide from the cold, dark days dreaming of a summer that now feels a thousand years away.
I am convinced that I was most definitely not designed to live here. My skin feels too thin, my hands and feet too far from the warmth of my circulating heart, and exposing my face to air any colder than -10 feels like it's going to fall right right off. And yes, I know that this sounds dramatic, but Nov-March has been a challenge for me my entire life.
But beyond the strong aversion to the cold, my mental health has always wobbled with the darkness. The short days and long, dark nights have made it harder and harder to stay motivated to get through the mounting pile of work that I seem to add to each and every year. And as my head bobs and bounces off of my chest while I try to stay awake finishing projects and answering emails only by the light of my laptop late at night, it finally hits me as the...
I had a really big, a really ugly, and a really good cry this week. And, somewhere during that cry, something shifted for a brief second while I stopped, stood back, and tried to remember the last time I cried like that- and I couldn’t.
I couldn’t put my finger on exactly why I was crying, but john being the incredible fixer that he was, needed to know so that he had something to fix. But the longer his “give me a clue” list became, the more frustrated I was getting with his need to figure it out. Didn’t he see that I just needed to cry?
After what felt like a pound of tears mixed with a cocktail of fierce frustration towards my husband, I finally yelled, “I’m just tired! I’m so, so tired.”
And just like that, I found it. The bottom. And now I had somewhere to curl up and rest a while.
10 minutes before that, I was, in my head, building the boat, packing my bags, and setting sail to the most remote island where I didn’t have...
It’s taken me a few weeks to write this post (mainly to give time for the tears to dry up), but yesterday was my first family day in 19 years that I didn’t have all of my babies living under one roof.
My oldest moved out recently and though these things are always hard, I am so proud of her for taking the step to move on with her life.
One of the great truths is that every single human being on this planet shares the need for progress. Whether you feel this through the body, the mind, or even in your soul, we’ve all come here to evolve....and when that’s not happening, we experience the consequences of that.
The last year has been hard for all of us in our own ways. But if you’re feeling the anxiety of spinning tires, or, the depression of being stuck, please know that inherent within you is the desire to evolve, to move on, and to get busy living.
And in our own little ways, we don’t need to wait for someone else to tell us when it’s...